Last year sometime, I wrote in my old blog about some extensions we wanted to do to our house, and how we realised after much dreaming that we couldn't actually afford to do them. I was upset at the time, that this dream wouldn't come to fruition, and Colleen cheered me with the following comment...
"I've heard that the smaller a home is, the closer the relationships between the people - so in some ways it could be a blessing?"
Fast forward to this year, and we have again been talking house extensions, though on a smaller scale than before. Once again, we decided we really couldn't afford it. Well, we could probably do it, if we went into more debt than we would be comfortable with. The bank would be happy to loan it to us, I'm sure, but we just don't want to be paying off this mortgage forever.
So we've started looking at our house for what it is. Can the four of us (and one day, maybe more) comfortably live in this 3 bedroom, 1 living area home? For the rest of our lives? Yes, the living space is small-ish, and the kids will have to share bedrooms if we don't stop after this baby. Guests have to walk through our laundry to get to the backyard and the whole space is not as "open-plan" as we would like. But you know what? We are content. Once we decided to stop desiring more, and to start looking at our space creatively, all of a sudden we are happy with this little house.
There's not a lot of space for the kids to play inside. So we are going to work on creating an outdoor space that can be used year-round, when inside feels too cramped. We'll probably also get rid of a bunch of toys, and find we have more space inside! The kitchen is still in it's original 70's style, with mission brown cupboards and bright orange bench tops. Ugly, yes, but functional all the same. The bedrooms are small, by current standards, but they all fit the "essentials" - a bed, and a cupboard to store clothes, with room for a few extras.
The bathroom is old, damp and smelly, and this is the one thing we plan to change in the very near future. Yes, we've lived with it for five years, and probably could live with it for five more. But that wouldn't be so great for our health. The old "Chinese lantern" pattern on all the tiles is great for growing mold. No matter how often we clean it, the whole room is just always damp and mucky. Yes, I know bathrooms get damp, but this is beyond normal. So this one thing, we will change, and soon.
Other than the bathroom, we are happy with things as they are for now. Eventually, we dream of a kitchen that's not mission brown and orange. Of a garage instead of a carport. But these things will come with time. By current standards in this country, our house is small, and most people in our situation would see this as "a first home". For the longest time we did too, and that's probably why we've never really made it feel like home. We always thought we would be moving on to bigger and better things, so why get too comfortable? But we have been blessed with so much! In fact, I'd go so far as to say we have an abundance. There are people in this world with families much larger than ours, living in spaces much smaller. Families where five children are crammed into one bedroom, and take turns at who gets to sleep on the mattress instead of the floor.
So whenever we visit friends with larger, "nicer" houses, and come home feeling like we want more, I will revisit this post, and these thoughts. Amazingly, we have discovered that just by deciding we'll be happy with the space we've got, we actually are. Contentment is an attitude adjustment, but it starts with a decision to just be happy with what you've got. We will never learn to be content if we are always looking at what everyone else has, and feeling sorry for ourselves that we can't "have it all" too. But when we actively decide to be happy with what we've got, it actually works.
"I've heard that the smaller a home is, the closer the relationships between the people - so in some ways it could be a blessing?"
Fast forward to this year, and we have again been talking house extensions, though on a smaller scale than before. Once again, we decided we really couldn't afford it. Well, we could probably do it, if we went into more debt than we would be comfortable with. The bank would be happy to loan it to us, I'm sure, but we just don't want to be paying off this mortgage forever.
So we've started looking at our house for what it is. Can the four of us (and one day, maybe more) comfortably live in this 3 bedroom, 1 living area home? For the rest of our lives? Yes, the living space is small-ish, and the kids will have to share bedrooms if we don't stop after this baby. Guests have to walk through our laundry to get to the backyard and the whole space is not as "open-plan" as we would like. But you know what? We are content. Once we decided to stop desiring more, and to start looking at our space creatively, all of a sudden we are happy with this little house.
There's not a lot of space for the kids to play inside. So we are going to work on creating an outdoor space that can be used year-round, when inside feels too cramped. We'll probably also get rid of a bunch of toys, and find we have more space inside! The kitchen is still in it's original 70's style, with mission brown cupboards and bright orange bench tops. Ugly, yes, but functional all the same. The bedrooms are small, by current standards, but they all fit the "essentials" - a bed, and a cupboard to store clothes, with room for a few extras.
The bathroom is old, damp and smelly, and this is the one thing we plan to change in the very near future. Yes, we've lived with it for five years, and probably could live with it for five more. But that wouldn't be so great for our health. The old "Chinese lantern" pattern on all the tiles is great for growing mold. No matter how often we clean it, the whole room is just always damp and mucky. Yes, I know bathrooms get damp, but this is beyond normal. So this one thing, we will change, and soon.
Other than the bathroom, we are happy with things as they are for now. Eventually, we dream of a kitchen that's not mission brown and orange. Of a garage instead of a carport. But these things will come with time. By current standards in this country, our house is small, and most people in our situation would see this as "a first home". For the longest time we did too, and that's probably why we've never really made it feel like home. We always thought we would be moving on to bigger and better things, so why get too comfortable? But we have been blessed with so much! In fact, I'd go so far as to say we have an abundance. There are people in this world with families much larger than ours, living in spaces much smaller. Families where five children are crammed into one bedroom, and take turns at who gets to sleep on the mattress instead of the floor.
So whenever we visit friends with larger, "nicer" houses, and come home feeling like we want more, I will revisit this post, and these thoughts. Amazingly, we have discovered that just by deciding we'll be happy with the space we've got, we actually are. Contentment is an attitude adjustment, but it starts with a decision to just be happy with what you've got. We will never learn to be content if we are always looking at what everyone else has, and feeling sorry for ourselves that we can't "have it all" too. But when we actively decide to be happy with what we've got, it actually works.
I'll leave you with some wise thoughts from my favourite book...
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
- Philippians 4:11-13
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
- 1 Timothy 6:6-8
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"
- Hebrews 13:5
3 comments:
Dear Tammy,
I came upon your thoughts about "learning to be content". You were thinking about siblings sharing rooms and so on... As a teenager I shared a room together with an eight-year-old girl, sort of a sister at the time, and I can reassure you that it was absolutely fine! I can´t say what she thougth about it though, can you? :)
Lotta - I can gladly say that the eight year old girl loved sharing a room with her big sister of sorts.
So good to hear from you... how did you find me?!
just popping in to day hello.
We live in a 2000 sq f house....9 people, soon 10 and it works just fine.
You just learn to be organized:)
love your blog....
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