Some thoughts on birth

I decided not to share any of my thoughts and feelings about the impending birth of this baby (and birth in general), until I knew exactly what our plans were. And so now that I know, I'll elaborate a little.

When I was pregnant with Peachfuzz, I looked into the possibility of a homebirth. This is not something a lot of people know, because most everyone who hears that thinks I'm crazy. Homebirth is actually just as safe, if not safer in many instances, than hospital birth, but that's a post for another day. We were given the name of an independent midwife who lives locally, but unfortunately we couldn't afford the fees involved. So, the next best thing was an amazing water birth at a low-risk hospital. I wouldn't have changed a thing, I really had such an amazing birth experience with Peachfuzz. Somewhere around here I've got a copy of her birth story, I'll have to dig that out.

I seem to have sidetracked myself, so, let's get back to the upcoming birth of Tiny. This time around I again looked into the possibility of a homebirth. Not that we are any better off financially now than we were then, but I kind of figured that this time around we could use our baby bonus to help offset the cost. Long story short, I had a really hard time making contact with an independent midwife, and decided to go with the midwives at the low-risk hospital we used the first time. Besides the waterbirth, the reason I love this place is that their approach to pregnancy and birth is so natural. They see pregnancy as the beautiful, natural thing it is, and not something that needs to be "treated" medically, like a disease. This is not to say all doctors or hospitals are like this, but I definitely believe women are less empowered these days with regards to pregnancy and birth, because of the very medicalised view of it by many doctors. My goal was always to have a natural, drug-free labour and birth, which I successfully did. I was, and still am, very much looking forward to having a similar experience this time around. But this time there's a hitch.

Today I found out that thanks to a small "complication" from Peachfuzz's birth, I am now considered too "high risk" to give birth at the hospital she was born at. I had to see a doctor at the hospital today who let me know of this decision, and the midwife I discussed it with later agreed that I am a "fit, healthy young woman and definitely not high risk". But sadly, they have made the decision that I need to give birth at a different hospital, where I have no guarantee of a waterbirth, and where the approach is similar, but more inclined to medical interventions.

I was, and still am, upset about this decision, but unfortunately it's out of my hands now. I am working on being positive about this, and trying to see the good in birthing at this other hospital. For one thing it is closer to home, and if labour is as fast (or faster) than last time, it will be handy to be so close. I know I need to feel some peace about this, because so much of the birth experience is tied to the mother's attitude and outlook. So I am trying to get myself back to the same state of peace and calm that I had when Peachfuzz was born.

I don't know why this has happened, and I hope that in the future, policies like this one may change. But for now I am trusting that this is where God needs me to be, and He certainly knows a lot better about life than I do!

I know these are out of context, but I have found both these verses comforting today.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
- Romans 8:28

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11

A little gem to ponder

Stumbled across this little gem while reading my Bible this morning...

"As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?"
- Ecclesiastes 5:11

A timely reminder for me as I once again struggle with wanting more "stuff". Simplicity is the way to go.

Sick and sorry... again!

Peachfuzz and I are both sick again, and it looks like Papa Bear is going under too. We only managed to kick the last cold/virus a couple of weeks ago, and now here we are a week into round two. Peachfuzz has been a lot more miserable this time, which has been hard to watch, but thankfully, I haven't been quite so bad, so I've been able to look after her a little better. Lots of cuddles, sleep, playing in the steamy bathroom while we shower and plenty of fluids has helped her out somewhat. She's been a little less energetic, and happy to sit and play quietly. We even rented out a couple of kids DVD's (sad but true) to help pass the time while she just wanted to sit and not do much. It's so cute to hear her ask for a "moonee".

While I was on my blogging break, there were a couple of fantastic blog posts on some of my regular reads. Sara posted some wonderful thoughts about the Proverbs 31 woman here. Proverbs 31 has both inspired and intimidated me in the past. After reading Sara's post, I decided, like her, to try getting up early to spend some time alone with God. My days always seem to go better when I make that the first thing I do each day. But you know what they say about good intentions! Day one I was up at 5:30 and had a wonderful quiet time. Day two I didn't get up until 6:00, and sadly, day two was the end of that! Once we're all recovered and sleeping a little better, I'm going to give this another go.

This post over at Changing Rhythm also really hit home for me, especially after a week of being away from all this, a week of noticing all the small joys in life. I hope Matt doesn't mind if I quote from his post, because really, it's exactly how I feel, but written so much more eloquently than I ever could.

"We are on a journey, there is no destination. It should be an adventure; like Pirates of the Caribbean, or Peter Pan. Sometimes, it is going to feel like the Tea Cups, or Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. But, at the end of the day, each day, I want to crash into bed laughing and telling exhausted stories of the magic I experienced, the things I noticed for the first time, the things that are worth living for. I want to pass out and dream dreams that pale in comparison to the days I have had. I want my children to see me as they do here, in "The Happiest Place on Earth." I want them to know that I wasn't forcing them to live with less; but, to live more, with less holding them back from a wild and adventurous life."

And of course, Amanda always has something amazing to share. After a few days of feeling frustrated that "all I ever do is clean up messes", this post reminded me of the right perspective.